It’s been a few months since I’ve waken a Darling from its slumber. This was written as part of a Freewrite Workshop with Exhale Creativity and Sonya Spillmann. It’s been asleep since for over a year, but with my kids growing more and more independent of me, it felt like an appropriate time to bring it out.
We went to a cookout at our neighbor’s house, where I sat in a chair, drinking my margarita-from-a-can, and talked to people I mostly didn’t know about nothing in particular. I usually hate small talk, but after a year of isolation, it felt good to sit in the presence of other people.
A toddler ran to where my daughters and two friends were playing with five huge wooden dice. A tiny chubby hand grabbed the die out of the bright green grass like it was a toy block. The older girls screamed a chorus of “No! We need that!” and the toddler’s mom came running to save the day. My oldest, queen of compromise, offered the tot an extra die. “Here, have this one,” she said, in an attempt to make the babe smile.
On the other side of the yard was a three-year-old boy, chasing balls and running full speed ahead. His mom stood on the edge of the patio, eyes on him like a hawk, ready to swoop down and grab him when he fell and scraped his knee. I relaxed in my chair, rocking back and forth, remembering the days of diapers and endless supervision. There isn’t a day that goes by that I miss those crazy days of babyhood.
“I rolled three twos and two fives. What can I do with that?” my daughter asked. I came out of my remembering and shifted my thoughts to back to the game.
“Did you take your twos?” I ask.
“Yes, and my full house.”
I tell her I’d take my three of a kind and remind her to add up the total of all five dice for her score. This stage of life feels empty sometimes. Without the constant chasing of tiny feet I’m left to mostly sit back and watch. I’ve given them roots and now it’s time for their wings to grow.
And perhaps it’s time for me to find wings of my own.
This is the third post in The Darling Files, a project initiated by my friends Rachel Nevergall and Callie Feyen. You can read more about The Darling Files from Rachel here and from Callie here.
You can read more of The Darling Files here.