How to Prepare For Your First Mammogram [The Darling Files 001]

1. Go to your physical appointment. “Now that you’re forty,” your doctor says, “let’s get you scheduled for a mammogram.” It’s okay to laugh at her choice of words. Let’s. She won’t go with you and hold your hand when your boobs are smashed. 
   

2. When you get home, put the referral in your box of important papers. Immediately write “make mammogram appointment” on your to-do list. Then ignore it. Pretend you are too busy to pick up the phone. If you avoid it, it might go away. [But probably not]. Repeat this once a week. For three weeks. At least.
   

3. Text a friend. Ask her to check in to make sure you’ve made the appointment. When she texts you at 9am the next day, promise her you’ll make the call before dinner.
   

4. Dig through several piles of important papers to find the referral. Type in the number as your heart races. There’s no reason to be afraid.
   
   You are put on hold and now have a decision to make: hang up and try again later? Or wait? Once you’ve hung up the phone you likely won’t call again. So you wait, hoping someone answers before a child [or husband] needs you.
   
   You hear the same recording over and over again. When it finally rings, your heart skips a beat. A brute woman answers. Don’t let it jar you. The first available appointment at the office by your house is two months from now. You don’t want to wait that long. Tell her you are willing to drive twenty minutes for the one in two weeks. Get it over with. 
   

5. Fill out the screening questionnaire. The first part is easy. Height. Weight. How many pregnancies have you had? The next question gets tricky. Who in your family has now, or has ever, had cancer? Race through the Maternal side. You’ve known these answers for years. Your mom’s battling cancer. Your Grandpa died of lung cancer.
   
   You’ll get to the Paternal side and realize you don’t know. You vaguely remember your grandmother had cancer, but you haven’t spoken to that side of the family in years. Send a text to the only number you have on your dad’s side. An aunt. 
   
   When she replies, sit down. Your Granny died of recurrent breast cancer when she was sixty, first diagnosed in her early-fifties. Two great aunts also battled it. And several cousins. 
   
   You feel like someone has punched you in the gut. 
   

6. Search Doctor Google for “breast cancer risk factors.” Mayo Clinic has a great list [and is a reliable source]. Out of fourteen factors listed, check six. Be glad you made the appointment. Wipe the tears gushing down your face.
   

7. On Mammogram Day, wear your sexiest black underwear [aka superhero cape]. The lace makes you feel invincible. If they find an evil villain, you’ll be confident it will be one you can fight.

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This post is inspired by The Darling Files: a new project started by my friends Rachel Nevergall and Callie Feyen. You can read more about The Darling Files from Rachel here and from Callie here.

Read more of my Darling Files here.

On Running at 41

I pull the laces on my shoes, looping one around the other to tie them in a bow. The laces dance as my feet hit the ground. The sun is out and the ground is dry—a rare occurrence for November in New England—so I go for a run outside. I open Spotify, find a playlist called “Run” and hit play. I start my brisk five minute walk to warm-up. My C25K App dings, telling me it’s time to run. I pick up the pace and begin the day’s planned workout—a 25-minute run.

After eight minutes of running it feels like I can do no more. I convince myself to keep running for two more minutes before it feels like my heart will give out. I slow to a brisk walk and challenge myself to walk only one minute before I begin to run again. I run three more minutes, making it just past one mile, before I give up and walk once again. 

I remember this being easier, I think to myself. My mind starts its sabotage of self-doubting thoughts. I started this runner's journey back in August. I thought for sure I’d be ready to run a 5K by now. The plan is only eight weeks! I’ve been running (walking) for ten weeks now and I don’t even feel like I can complete week six. I wonder if I should go back to the beginning and start at week one. Will it feel more rewarding then?

---

The last time I considered myself a runner was in 2006. I was twenty-five and in my third year of law school in Ohio. My marriage was full of animosity and I was full of self-loathing and doubt. I had gained thirty-five pounds since graduating college two years earlier. January 1 felt like the perfect time to make a change. Several times a week, after my classes were done, I’d put on my running shoes and go for a run. Running became a way to care for myself and avoid the relationship mess waiting for me at home. Running became my escape.

I don’t remember many details about running back then, other than I mostly ran at a park with a circular track. I don’t remember anything about my shoes, or the clothes I wore, or what the park looked like or what the drive was like to get there. But I do remember the feeling of strapping my heart rate monitor across my chest. Sitting just below my breasts, under my sports bra, it became my power pack. With it on, I felt as if I could run for hours. The simple act of securing the buckle against my body made me love myself just a little more. The act of caring for myself—for my body—made me a little more confident.

I ran at least four days a week. Sometimes five or six. I ran outside as much as possible, but occasionally I did a treadmill run at the local gym. In eight weeks, just like planned, I ran 5K. There was no official race; it was an ordinary weekday afternoon. 

I put on my running shoes and headed to the park, where I was the only one on the track. After a brisk five minute walk to warm-up, I started running. Lap after lap I ran, until the timer on my heart rate monitor told me I was done. I ran 35 minutes without stopping. As I walked my cool down, I scrolled through the stats on the watch connected to my monitor. 3.15 miles. I had done it! In eight weeks, I had gone from never running at all to being able to run 5K. I felt like I could take over the world. 

The next week, I did it again. Again and again; my time improving each week. A few weeks later, I graduated law school and moved back to Georgia. I started a new job. My first husband (now ex) and I moved in with my parents while we searched for a place of our own. Animosity and anxiety reached an all time high and it became difficult to carve out time for running. With an 8-5 job, my normal afternoon running time disappeared. With so many changes, I didn’t have the energy to find a new running time. Or place. 

I never ran consistently again.

---

I walk for a few minutes to catch my breath. Just as I begin to run another stretch, my phone rings. Normally I’d ignore it, but it’s my mom. We don’t talk as often as I’d like so I always answer when she calls. “Whatcha up to?” She asks.

Breathing heavily, I reply—my words choppy—“I’m out for a run.” She tries to tell me to call her later, but I know once I get home there won’t be any quiet time. My heart feeling like it’s going to pound right out of my chest, I say, “No, it’s okay. I don’t think I have it in me to run more today anyway.” I continue walking briskly as we talk about what food we’ll make when we are visiting over the holidays.  Before I know it, I’ve arrived back at my door and we say goodbye. As I walk in the front door I glance at my Fitbit to see I went 3.25 miles. I may have only run ⅓ of it, I think, but at least the distance is there.

---

I slide my left foot into my navy blue Asic and notice the “shhhh” sound it makes as the heel hits the bottom. I pull the laces, looping one around the other to tie them in a bow that dances when I let go. Standing, I reach for the floor to warm up my muscles, alerting them it’s time to get to work. 

It’s been four weeks since I last ran that sunny November day. The hardest part of getting back into it is showing up. The first day back feels like pulling teeth. Do I really want to do this? My resolve starts to wane. The excuses start to pile up in my mind:

It’s too cold outside.

Covid cases are on the rise and I don’t really want to wear a mask when I run. Is it safe to go to the gym?

I’ve already committed to yoga every day this month—how can I find time to run too?

It’s so cold outside!

I am behind. This plan is supposed to take 8 weeks. I feel like a failure. I want to quit.

Running is hard on your body—maybe I should power walk instead.

It’s hard. 

It’s really really cold outside.

I think about the times over the years I’ve bought new shoes and vowed to run again. I’d run for a week or two and give up. I wasn’t really committed. I had too many other things to do. People to feed. Lessons to plan and oversee. A house to clean. There aren’t enough hours in the day to do all the things I need to do and all the things I want. I have to prioritize, and running never made it to the top of the list. 

It was too hard. And it took too long to see results.

Shaking my head to release the negative thoughts, I grab my earbuds and water bottle. I yell at my family that I'm going to the gym and walk out the door before I can find an excuse to stay home. Taking a deep breath, I put my minivan in reverse and start to roll down the hill. I reach the bottom of the driveway and put the van in gear, driving slowly to the stop sign at the end of the street. As I wait for my chance to turn left onto the busy street, I think to myself: Maybe the plan is the problem. 

Any time I get behind when following a plan, I feel like it’s not worth it to keep going. But what if—instead of using the plan as a schedule—I use it as a tool? Sure, I did it in eight weeks fifteen years ago, but I’m not in my twenties anymore. My life looked different then. My body was different. Now I’m forty-one. I’ve had three pregnancies, two caesarian births and one miscarriage. I’ve carried the weight of a cross-country move (and several moves since we got here), multiple job shifts, and more stress than I ever imagined when I was 25.

The traffic clears. I pull onto the main road and give myself a pep talk. So what if it takes you longer than eight weeks? It doesn’t matter how far you run. It only matters that you don’t give up.

What took eight weeks in 2006 may take sixteen or even twenty-four now. I cruised my way through the plan then and expected to do the same this time around. But nothing is the same now as it was then.

By the time I pull into the gym parking lot, I’ve made a new commitment to myself. I pull the ear loops of my mask around my ears, grab my water bottle, and walk in the front door of the YMCA. The gym is mostly empty, so I have my choice of treadmills. I remove my jacket. Place my keys in one cup holder and my water bottle in the other. I open C25K on my phone to see today’s planned workout—Day 1 of Week 8. My lips turn in a smile as I swipe left in search of the right workout for today. Settling on Week 5: Day 1, I press “Go”. The plan doesn’t control me. The plan is there to help me succeed.

As I begin my warmup, I repeat my commitment to myself:

I will not give up. This will be the year that I become a runner once again.

---

This post is part of a blog hop with other runner-mother-creatives. Click here to view the next post in this series on running, mothering, and making.

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By All Means Do It!

It’s the 21st month of the year 2021. And here I am, finally ready to commit to those 21 goals that I’ve been trying to nail down over the last 21 days. I know what you’re thinking—“21 goals? Are you insane?! Shouldn’t you maybe choose one or two and really dig into those? I mean, doesn’t making 21 goals really set yourself up for failure?!”

The truth is, I probably could narrow these down a little bit, but 21 for ‘21 just sounds too good. Besides, I believe in challenging myself and dreaming big. I also believe that by speaking them into existence in a public way means I’ll actually try to work towards them, so buckle up. 2021 is going to be full of fun and excitement!

I did organize them into categories, because that made 21 feel more achievable. If you look at them in small chunks, it doesn’t feel quite so overwhelming. I’m just going to take them one step at a time—or as one of my favorite authors says, “Just take it bird by bird.”

Personal Goals

Buy new bras

You know you’re a real adult when buying bras has to be listed out as a goal in order for you to really do it. I hate buying bras. I haven’t had a good one since before I got pregnant with my oldest - and she’ll be nine in just three weeks. The last time I bought bras I got them at Costco. I can do better than that. I must. I will!

Crochet-a-long (CAL) project

For the past several years I’ve followed communities of crocheters all working on the same project and have loved watching what they make. I have a closet full of yarn that is begging to be used, so I’m going to join in this year and end up with a crocheted sampler afghan. I can’t promise it’ll be beautiful, but I can promise it will be unique.

Read—and write—more poetry

Poetry always scared me before I started homeschooling. I still have nightmares over my high school English teacher making me diagram poems and talk about their meanings. How the heck am I supposed to know what that old dead poet was thinking when he wrote this two hundred years ago?! But now that I’ve been reading and reciting poetry with my girls, I see the beauty of it. And ironically, I found a book of poems I wrote when I was in high school—so there must be a part of me that really wants to write poetry! I decided this was a personal goal instead of a writing goal, because it’s not about the writing. It’s about the appreciation of poetry.

Find a pen pal and write monthly letters

I miss the days of old-fashioned letters. I want to resurrect the habit of handwriting letters to someone, especially someone with who I may not be able to connect through social media or email. I want to find an older person—a woman I think—and share life stories through written letters. And then I want to keep them in a box until I grow old and I’ll share them with my grandkids and tell them about the time when the entire world went virtual, but I kept writing paper letters.

Disconnect from screens

Too much screentime is bad for my soul. I want to turn off my phone several days a week and on the weekends. Well, maybe not every weekend…but maybe once a month. I want to pay attention to what’s happening around me and to really be present in each moment. I want to disconnect from screens so that I can reconnect with the people and things I love.

Homeschool Goals

Teach Eden how to crochet

I’m already off to a great start with this one. It’s nice when your kids can help you achieve one of your goals right off the bat! But in all seriousness, she’s been begging me to teach her, and I just haven’t found the time to sit down with her to get her started. She’s a fast learner and is doing a great job with it, so I just need to be consistent about sitting down with her to practice several times a week.

Help Autumn make 4 outfits - 1 each season

I really struggled with writing this one down. Her greatest dream is to design and sew her own clothes. She already has a design book where she draws dress designs. I can sew pretty well, but clothes have never been something I wanted to make, so this is a challenge goal for me. Last year we found someone to give her sewing lessons, but we had to stop them because of Covid. Although ordinarily, this is something I’d find a way to outsource, for 2021 I’m going to work really hard to make this happen for her.

Write a curriculum for Nicholas mouse

I adore writing curriculum. It’s one of the things I miss most about doing ministry in a professional setting. The girls and I are reading Nicholas: A Massachusetts Tale for Geography right now, and there are so many really great opportunities to dig in. I’m making notes as we go through it and hope to be able to pull it all together in a fun little curriculum before next Fall.

Help my girls find a pen pal

Writing letters helps them practice their handwriting and composition skills in a fun and low-risk way. Besides, if I start getting mail, they’re going to want their own mail. So they’ll each need their own pen pal. Anyone interested?

Writing Goals

Write something every day

Something. Anything. Just write. If I let a day go by without writing, I will forgive myself and pick it up the very next day. The only thing that doesn’t count is a list. Because if I say writing a list counts as writing, I’ll write a book full of lists and not much of anything else. Except maybe poetry. See above.

Publish a monthly newsletter

Just as I love writing curriculum I also love writing newsletters. I love compiling all my favorite books, blog posts, recipes, and fun things to do and sharing them with the world. I have no idea if anyone will read the newsletter (you can sign up here), but I’m going to write it anyway. Because it’s fun! And it’s a way to practice writing. And because I want to.

Revamp Soul Munchies. Really think about mission, vision, and branding moving forward

This is another goal that I’ve started working on already. Soul Munchies has been around a long time and has traveled with me through many stages of life. In some ways, I still have the same vision as when I started blogging 15 years ago, but in many ways, that vision has changed. I want to spend some intentional time thinking about the purpose of this space, and start putting that vision into action.

Find places for submissions and submit at least 6 pieces of writing

This is another really scary goal for me. I’m terrified of what people think of the things I write. That fear is part of the reason I have gotten stuck so many times before when I try to be consistent in writing. But I’m learning that I have to let go of that fear so that I can be true to the person God has created me to be. And submitting writing to a publication is one way I can take a big huge risk in living into that person. If I never submit anything, I won’t ever get feedback, and I won’t ever get better. So I can do at least 6 submissions this year! Here’s to living bravely!

Financial Goals

Pay off that last credit card

Money is hard ya’ll. It’s hard to talk about, and if you don’t have a good foundation in financial planning, it’s hard to deal with. But we’ve worked hard to get to where we only have one card balance left, and this will be the year it disappears!

Pay next month’s bills with this month’s income.

This is something I’ve learned through You Need A Budget, which is the tool we use for our budgeting purposes. The goal is to pay next month’s budget with the money that comes in this month. Once you can do that, you end up with a safety net that helps tremendously when surprise expenses come your way. You know, when the car battery decides to die when you least expect it. Or the fireplace refuses to turn on when it’s the coldest day of the year. Not that either of those has happened to me already this year.

Save for a tow hitch and a camper.

Once we can meet the first two financial goals, we want to save for a camper. With family over 1000 miles away, our annual vacation typically ends up being a visit to Georgia. While we love that visit, we also want to see other parts of the country. A camper will allow us to take road trips without needing to buy flights or pay for lodging, which means we can travel more often and to more places!

Physical Goals

Exercise 5 days a week

It can be yoga. It can be hiking. It can be playing Just Dance. Just MOVE.YOUR.BODY!

Eat Breakfast every day

This is hard for me because I hate breakfast. But it’s the most important part of the day, and it makes my body function better, and it makes me be a better parent, so I’ll do it. This is going to be the year that I find creative ways to eat breakfast. Like eating leftovers from the night before. Or making tacos. Or eating beans on toast. So long boring breakfast. 2021 is the year of the Fun Breakfast!

Drink water before coffee

I’ve been working on this for several months now and I’m still not very good at it. Goals.

Food Goals

Empty my freezers before CSA season

We are heading back to our beloved Springdell Farm this season and have a huge CSA share coming starting in Spring. Although we have two chest freezers that supply our food throughout the winter, neither one was completely empty before the 2020 season began. They both need a good defrost before storing 2021 produce for next winter, so the next few months we’re eating as much as we can out of them. It’s really my favorite time of the year, because I can basically never leave the house and still eat really well.

Bake my way through my bread book.

I got an awesome new Sourdough book last year featuring recipes with a Latin American twist, and I have not been disappointed with anything I’ve made from it. I want to make every recipe in the book this year. And never have to buy any kind of bread/tortilla product ever again.

So there you have it. The 21 ways I’m going to make 2021 an excellent year. Ahhh … just writing them makes me feel like I’m going to be successful. I already feel better about life, don’t you?

On Giving Thanks in a Time Such As This

Yesterday I granted myself - and you - permission to grieve. Permission to feel anger and sadness. Permission to wonder all the terrible wonders that are rolling around in your head. Permission to admit that this is not normal. This is not our new normal. Don’t think of it like that … and ignore those people who do. Life will change after this, but I’m confident that the changes are going to be for the better in the long run.

So today, I’m turning the coin. I am - in true Pollyanna fashion - finding the good in the midst of this struggle. Because there’s always good. I’m looking at the ways in which our life might look different at the end of this - and giving thanks for the so many positives in my life.

I’m giving thanks for my husband’s job. A job where he can do all of his work remotely. A job that is secure and important and isn’t going anywhere in the midst of an economic downturn. A job where he is not on the frontlines. A job where he is allowed and encouraged to be safe, at home.

And because he’s not doing his usual commute, we have time every day to explore the hundreds of hiking trails around us. I’m giving so much thanks for the early Spring weather that has been gifted to us this year. Weather that’s allowing us to get outdoors and enjoy sunshine.

I’m celebrating the empty calendar. I made a list of all the things I’d do if I had no other obligations, and I’m crossing a few off each day. Yesterday I made homemade sourdough bread, preserved Meyer lemons, and Strawberry Lemon Marmalade. Today I have peach butter on the stove.

My heart is beyond full for my family - who taught me from a very early age how to store food during peak harvest seasons. My grandma and aunts taught me how to garden. My mom taught me how to can jams and jellies and peppers and salsa. I’ve been living this life of food preservation all my life - and now I know just how important it is.

I’m giving thanks for my local farms who provide good food for my family. CSAs who take such good care of us in peak harvest seasons that we have plenty of food in the freezer to get us through at least a month without buying much of anything at all. Farms who believe in the importance of serving their communities, operate year round, and are doing what they can to provide food for their people in the midst of this time of uncertainty.

I’m singing praises to God through virtual worship services and evening prayers and hymn sings in a way that I haven’t done in a really long time. I’m able to “attend” worship services at churches that are so near and dear to me - yet are hundreds of miles away - and it’s making my heart break right open into this mess of joy and sadness all at the same time. Isn’t that what faith is all about after all? Sadness for the world as it is, while at the same time this immense feeling of joy that God loves us and we belong to God. The many church communities that have sustained me throughout my almost-40-years of life are now sustaining me from afar.

I’m ever so thankful for a craft room full of yarn and sewing supplies. For a basement full of scrap wood and building tools. For an extended family who - although they are super far away - can walk me through just about any craft or building project I could ever want to attempt.

I continue to be amazed at how we ended up in this place we now call home and just how much it fills us up. We’re surrounded by woods and trails and it just feels like a safe haven in the middle of a storm. We can climb trees, explore nature, lay in the hammock, swing in the swing, plant a garden, or just bring a blanket and read a book outside. The vast space that belongs to us is not lost on me in this time of “staying at home.”

I’m grateful for the hard work I’ve done over the last two years in really understanding what a good homeschool life looks like for us. We have a library full of books right in our own home. We have puzzles and games and toys to spark creativity and imagination. We have an entire room of craft and art supplies. We have thousands of ideas that we’ve been too busy to work on, and now we actually have time to dig in to some of those things. I know that my kids are learning even when we aren’t doing “lessons” and I’m not afraid of days full of free play.

These are just a few of the things I’m giving thanks for today. The list goes on and on, and as I write this, my privilege is not lost on me. But just as yesterday was for feeling sad, today is for giving thanks. For filling up my cup with praise and thanksgiving so that I can look forward to how I can use these gifts that I’m given - this privilege that I’m living - to help those people around me that aren’t in the same place.

Tell me …. what are you giving thanks for today?

Photo by Rajiv Bajaj on Unsplash.

Teriyaki Lentils [Meals Under $15]

After the birth of our second baby, we had an amazing outpouring of support in the form of a meal train. Meals were provided for us for over a month – and it was the best gift we ever could have received. We tried many new recipes, and I vowed to create a cookbook perfect for meal trains. It’s been 4 1/2 years, and I still haven’t done that yet – but I have been collecting recipes and sharing them all along the way!

This lentil recipe is one of our favorite ways to eat lentils – and it’s so easy to throw together at the last minute. It’s one of my favorites on chilly nights, it only takes about an hour to cook, and you can throw just about any vegetable in it. In the Spring, you can use whatever you can find - spring turnips, mushrooms, garlic scapes, spring onions. In the Fall, you can substitute yellow potatoes for the sweet potatoes, and in the Winter, it’s a great way to use up some of that winter squash in your storage room. You can also add in some greens for extra veggie power. I’d saute them until wilted and throw them in before serving, rather than cook them with everything else. The recipe as written below is our favorite way to eat it, but trust me when I say anything goes with this one!

Everyone in the family loves these – and baby E thinks they are like candy. This makes a big batch, so it gives us dinner plus several lunches. It also freezes well - so you can eat half now and save half for a night when you need something quick. We often eat previously prepared meals out of our freezer on those nights when all I really want to do is order take out. It’s way cheaper, and it tastes much better too!

Teriyaki Lentils
Adapted from several sources

Ingredients
1 1/2 cup dried green or brown lentils
1/2 cup onion, chopped
2-3 carrots, chopped
1-2 cloves minced garlic
1-2 sweet potatoes (depending on size)
1 T grated fresh ginger (or 1 teaspoon powdered ginger)
1 quart chicken stock (if you don’t have it, you can use veggie broth, water, or any combination of. You can also add some white wine if you’re short on broth)
2 T soy sauce
1/4 cup honey
1/4 tsp chili powder
1 1/2 T olive oil
salt/pepper to taste

Preparation
Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Put all your veggies & the lentils in a 9×13 baking dish. Pour broth and seasonings over the top. Mix well. Bake for 1 hour (or until lentils are tender, but not creamy).

Serve over rice.

I’ve also successfully made this in the crockpot, cooking on low for 4-6 hours. You’ll want to make sure you’re around to check them though, because if lentils cook too long they breakdown and get creamy. They are still delicious that way, just have a much different texture.

Photo by Gaelle Marcel on Unsplash.

New Running Shoes

The last time I ran, it was my escape. I ran because it helped me physically run away from a life that I hated. For that 30-60 minutes a day, I could pretend my life was something that it wasn't. I could dream. I could pray. I could simply be.

I haven't run since. There was once, after E was born, when I thought "Hey, maybe I'll start running again...I could run with the stroller." But I wasn't ever <em>really</em> committed to it, so it didn't last long. I could always come up with a thousand excuses as to why I couldn't do it. It was too hot outside. The kids would scream and it wouldn't end up being a very good workout anyway. I was tired. I didn't sleep well. It was too cold outside. The list goes on and on and on.

But last week I bought new running shoes. And today I laced them up and headed out the door as soon as the hubs got home from work. I am committed to running again. But it's so different this time around. This time ... I'm running so that I can dream ... not about how to get out of the life I'm living, but about all the many things this life has given me - and all the many more to come.

I'm running because my dear friend is running a 5K in November in celebration of her "cancerversary" ... and I promised her I'd be there to run alongside her. She's been running throughout her chemotherapy treatment, so I'm sure she'll leave me in the dust, but a promise is a promise .... and I will meet her at the finish line!

I'm running because I'm about 20 pounds over what I would consider to be my "ideal" body weight. I'm not ashamed of that ... I've had two babies - I've given them my life for the last 5 years ... and I couldn't be more proud of that. I'm proud of my curves that allowed me to carry two babies through full-term pregnancies. Proud of the flabby tummy that had to be cut open twice to get those babies out. Proud of the somewhat saggy breasts that made milk that helped both my babies develop and grow in their earliest years. But I won't lie when I say I'd like to be a little thinner. I'd like to fit into the clothes that I own, as opposed to buying new ones. When I ran before, I looked (& felt) better than I ever had. I'm striving to look and feel great again.

I'm running because exercise does great things for our bodies. It helps our muscles get stronger. It helps the stress of our lives disappear - or at least helps us cope with it a little bit better. It helps us <em>feel good</em> about who we are, and how we are taking care of ourselves.

I'm running because ... let's be real for a second ... the shoes are damn cute. I got them on sale - and they are like walking on clouds. I'll run miles just to wear them a little longer.

I'm running because I live in the Boston area. And runners abound. And it makes me feel like I belong here - if even just for a moment.

But perhaps most importantly ... I'm running because it's an easy way to take care of myself. It fuels my creativity. It gives me some much-needed introvert time alone - where no one can ask me for anything, I don't have to clean up after anyone, or worry about what they are doing. I can walk out the door, across the street, and just run. And when I come back, I'm a much better mama, a much better wife, and a much better person.

I'm not a huge fan of "New Year's Resolutions" because I think you can make a change any time of your life - not just in January. So today ... on August 1 ... I'm putting that theory into action. I'm making a change.

Here's to a healthier, happier, more reflective life.