Finding Our Groove
All of a sudden we find ourselves in the second half of January. Our first six weeks in New England have been difficult - we've faced a terrible cold, followed by an incredibly long bout of the norovirus. We've experienced much emotional heartbreak over leaving our home and we've been struggling with our landlord over the state of our apartment. We've driven around to so many little towns where we think we can afford to purchase a home, made two offers on houses - neither of which worked out, and 95% of the time we end up feeling defeated. We are still not sure what our purpose is here yet ... but we are pretty damn confident God's in control of the situation.
This moving across country thing ... it's no joke. Especially when you have a family in tow. But there have been glimpses of hope. In fact, every single time we get down and out, God seems to throw us a tiny little light. It's as if God is saying, Stay the course. I will reveal it to you when the time is right. Just trust me. There's something theologically profound about the fact that we are living this beginning part of our journey in the seasons of Advent, Christmas, and Epiphany. The season of waiting - the season of immense joy that the Messiah has come - and then the season of more waiting. Waiting for that Messiah to really show himself and God's purpose and glory.
So the last few weeks I've been trying to keep my eyes open to the epiphanies. To those moments that God chooses to reveal a tiny glimpse of what might be in store for us.
The weather has been beautiful, and we've only just experienced our first REAL snow and biting cold this past weekend. Just last week the girls and I managed to bundle up and walk the mile to our new chiropractor to get adjusted - even though the high was 29 and the wind made it feel like 15. Never in a million years did I think I would be outside with temperatures that low. But the sun was out and the reflection on the snow was oh so beautiful. And when we got home, we warmed up with hot drinks - apple cider for the girls and an essential oil tea for me.
We have found a church that we like, and although it's not completely what we ever hoped for or dreamed of (I mean - is there ever a place like that?), it is definitely the right place for us right now. It's full of families, they commune children whenever parents deem them to be ready, there's a children's sermon during the service, they don't mind that my children worship with us and dance to every song we sing, there's a women's book club that meets on Saturdays, and although we aren't completely happy with every aspect of it, our kids LOVE it ... and that is a huge deal for us.
There are SO MANY farms up here. The fresh food options are incredible, even in the bitter cold of January. As a family who really values local real food, we are so very pleased at the ease of eating healthy. Even the grocery stores here have better options than we had in Atlanta.
And on Sunday, when I was feeling at my what may have been my lowest point since moving here, I found myself having a conversation with another stay-at-home mom (I was beginning to think they didn't exist here)! I had cried on the way to church, fighting with God over what in the hell we are doing here, and then there she was. She has two children close in age to my own and - what do you know - is from East Tennessee and went to college in Atlanta. At the end of the conversation she gave me her phone number, and suggested we get together. I don't know if she knew what an answer to a prayer she was in that very moment.
So here we are, in the second half of January, finally finding our groove and making new routine. We're finally creating our new normal, and beginning to feel like this place is home. Although I still miss Atlanta and my people dearly, I'm finding that I actually can't imagine moving back. And when I take a step back and look at how far we've come in the last six weeks, I can see a little more clearly that God is here ... in our wandering ... every single step of the way.