On Your First Day of “School”

Blocks by Sandy
My precious one,

You started “preschool” today. Well, it’s really called “parent day out” – but it seems the same to me. I had to pack your lunch and send snacks. And let’s be honest – the bag I packed made it seem like you were staying overnight.

You’re the only girl in a class full of boys. I don’t worry about that though – you’re already a strong little lady. You’ll be able to hold your own. When I left you this morning, you didn’t cry. Although you told me you were ready to go home, you seemed excited – well, willing – to build a tower out of blocks.

I saw your face when that little boy started crying as his mama left. You were worried about him. You offered him a block – hoping he’d be okay. You are such a sweet child. It melts my heart.

When I picked you up this afternoon, they told me you had a mostly good day. You missed Mommy though, and wanted Mommy’s milk part of the way through. That’s okay sweet girl. It was a long day – four hours is a long time to be away from home. I pray that you grow to love it there. Your teachers are so happy and so fun. They already love you so very much, and they have so much to show you!

My precious child, I want you to know that I’m not taking you there because I want to get rid of you. I am taking you there because I want you to have fun. I want you to have friends. I want you to have experiences without Mommy and Daddy. Experiences that you can tell us about – things you can share with us.

I’m taking you there because I want you to know that sometimes it’s okay for Mommies to take a break. When you’re all grown up, I want you to look back on these days and know that I gave you the best of both worlds. I stayed home with you most every day – but on some mornings, I brought you to a safe, loving place where you could play with other kids and where I could escape to get a few things done.

I love writing and editing and I want that to be a part of my life. I used to say I could wait until you were in school, but the reality is my heart yearns to do it now. Writing and editing helps me be a better Mommy to you. It helps me be the person God created me to be. And the only way I can really make them a part of my life is to find a place where you can be safe and have fun without me.

My sweet child, I love you so much. I’m so proud of how well you did today. I loved hearing all your stories, and I can’t wait to hear many more!

With all my love,

Crystal Rowe

wife to D, mama to A & E, sister, daughter, niece, aunt, follower of Christ, writer, book lover, beloved child of God